My dear friends, please leave me some comments on my short story.

My dear friends, below is a short story that i have written recently. I have to use this as my assignment. Pleas leave me some comment to improve myself. Thanks a lot. love you all.

L.O.V.E.

“Kevin senior, can I have your signature please?” asked Cynthia.
“Yes, sure. Can I have yours as well?” said Kevin as he passed his camp booklet to Cynthia.
“Do give me your phone number and address as well so that I can contact you after the camp. Thanks.” Kevin added with a warm smile on his face.
It was the 10th Leadership Camp where both of them met each other and there is where the story begun.
Kevin, a Form 4 student, he is the youngest son of a baker who owned a bakery. Cynthia, a Form 2 girl，come from a single-parent family where her father passed away. After the camp, Kevin keeps in touch with Cynthia. Then only he knew that, their house is just a distance of a row of houses. One day, he found a very lame excuse to go to her house. He said he wanted to pass the photo CD of the camp to her but brought the wrong one. They had a long conversation that day. Instead, it was a nice conversation. Kevin attracted to Cynthia. He started to take his action to court her.
After that day, he went to her house more often. Almost every Friday he will pay a visit to her house. He cracked some jokes with her, told her his daily life and sometimes they even talked about future. They used to have nice and long chatting time every Friday night. Sometimes, Kevin wouldn’t want to go home as he was too excited chatting with Cynthia.
One evening, Kevin phoned Cynthia.
“Cynthia, do you have any guy that you admired?”
“Yes, there is one.” Cynthia answered and she is imagining the face of the guy she admired in her brain at the same time.
“Oh, who is the lucky guy?” Kevin asked curiously and hopes that the answer will be him.
“He is my senior.”
It was like a big stone hitting on Kevin’s heart. His heart broke. He could hear the sound of his heart breaking into pieces.
“You? Do you have any girl that you admired?”
“Yes, there is one girl that I admired and love her very much.”
“ Who is the lucky girl then?”
“ You try to have a guess. Who do you think will be the girl I admired? She joined the camp too.”
“ Is it Karen? Or Janice?”
“Why do you think is both of them?”
“They are so pretty. Guess you will admire them.”
“No, you are wrong. I didn’t admire them at all. The girl I admired just a step away from me.”
“She is with you now? Wow! Who is she? Do I know her? Why don’t you introduce her to me? You are so bad…”
“She is not with me right now. You of course know her. You know her very well.”
“What? I know her? I know her very well too? Hmm… Who is she? Is she studying in the same school with me? Is she in the same group with me? Is she in my age too?”
“Yes, she is in the same school with you, same age with you and also same group with you.”
“Hmm… Let me think. Who else in my group…hey, I am the only girl who is Form 2 and I am the only one from San Min. No other people. Are you sure she is same group with me?”
“Yes, sure. In fact, that person is you.”
“What? Me?”
“ Yes, you. Is it possible for me to be your boy friend?”
“Not impossible.”
“Not impossible? Why do you say so?”
“I am not sure. I haven’t prepares for it. Sorry.”
“Well. It is ok. So what are you doing now?”
“My mother is calling me to help her in some stuff in the kitchen now. Sorry. Have to hang up. See you next time. Bye.”
“OK. Bye.”
It was a heart broken phone call for Kevin. While Cynthia, she felt so nervous and scared. She never dreamt to have any people admired her as she thinks that she doesn’t has an adorable figure and she is too fat instead. She was shocked when Kevin told her that he likes her. She treated Kevin as her big brother, that’s all. She couldn’t accept Kevin neither as she had promised her father to concentrate in her studies before she enters university. She won’t break the promise. She told herself.
Cynthia couldn’t sleep that night, neither Kevin. Picture of Kevin was playing in Cynthia’s mind. She was refreshing every moment being with Kevin. She couldn’t notice any signal of Kevin admiring her. Yes, he helped her a lot. He will do whatever to help her when she needed help. What she needs to do is just ring him up, he will be there in a short while. She doesn’t think that this is the way Kevin showed her his love. She never knew that she is the one for him. She never knew…
Kevin couldn’t sleep that night too. He was thinking, why he was so brave and confessed to Cynthia. He was thinking: “ If she doesn’t want to talk to me at all, how? Are we still friend?” Thousands of questions were playing in his mind at that very moment. He felt angry to himself as he took action too sudden. He was planning how to talk to Cynthia again. He doesn’t want the situation become worse. He believes that he could touch her heart one day. What he needs to do now is to be with her whenever she needs him. Yes! That is the way.
He phoned Cynthia the next day as he woke up. No, he didn’t wake up, instead, he didn’t sleep for the whole night.
“Cynthia, I am so sorry. I shouldn’t say those things to you yesterday. Are we still friends?”
“It’s ok. I am glad that you tell me the truth. Of course, we are friends. Don’t worry.”
“Glad to hear that! Would you come for breakfast with me?”
“Yes, sure. You fetch me. OK? I am quite lazy to walk.”
“Sure. Wait me. I will be there in 15 minutes time. See you later.”
Kevin felt so released after all. He quickly washed his face and get on his motorcycle. Deep in his heart, he knew that he is more than willing to fetch Cynthia, even for his whole life. He is willing to do so to her as he love her so much.

---------------------------------THE END-------------------------------------------------
thanks a lot.
take care