~April Fool?~

Wow..so fast, it’s mid-April now, which indicate, I am going to the end of my second year in University of Malaya. It was too fast for me to accept and yet it is a truth that I have to take it. When I flashed back all those memories I had in University of Malaya, it was just a minute ago. I touched on the ground of University of Malaya on 29 June 2008. Oh My God..It was two years ago. Once again, I looked at myself, what have I done during these two years? I have a lot of new friends. Yes, it is undeniable; I have a lot of friends during these two years. But, how many of them are true friends? I am not sure yet.

Was great that during this 2nd year 2nd sem, I had a great group- The PowerPuff Girls-..Our mission is to save the world..haha..We don’t have such power to save the world. But we are trying our best to help our participant in our AR class and also work hard for our CALL project. Eh..i forget to introduce who is in our PowerPuff Girls…hmm..let’s start with the first cool girl, Ms.Tian Zhong Weng a.k.a Blur Puff. She has a blur blur face any time, any place… Secondly, is our Ms. Amy Yu Shi Chia a.k.a Creative Puff. She was a creative dancer, but don’t know will be creative dancer again or not.haha… Next will be our Curry Puff, Ms. Marina Melissa Ng. Haha.. she was given Curry Puff as her puffies’ name because she love to eat curry puff so much. Follow by my roommate, Tan Shin Yen a.k.a Silent Puff. She always silent during our discussion but she is never silent in our room. Haha… Not forget, our Turkish Puff, Nermin Tunci, who come from Turkey. Hehe… Eh..seems like I forget to introduce myself, I am Curly Puff..haha… I am glad with my puffies here. We had a camping in the lobby to finish our assignment together, we had nights with lots of jobs to be done and we had a lot of great time together..

PowerPuff Girls


With Dr.Jessie after the CALL project and expo.


Went to watch a dramma by my buddy's buddy in Jaya One with Oong and Yen Yen. Love the show. this is Thanusha, one of the actor??actress??haha..

It’s my study week now. One more day to go is my first paper yet I have not started with any notes or books. This semester, I had a very special study week. As usual, my study week started with a movie and sushi. I went to sushi bonanza with Zhong Weng and we watched “how to train your dragon” before our sushi feast. This movie inspired me a lot. For me, our thoughts are those entire dragon which controlled by another big dragon, which is our heart. There is no limitation of food that the big dragon need. It eats up all dragons which do not bring any food to him. Our heart, too, hungry all the time and there is no ending for any hope. One after another, non-stop. While the main character( I forget his name), he is the hero who killed the big dragon. In our real life, who will be the hero? For me, my answer is, ourselves. Only we can kill all worries, all not needed hopes and so on from growing and expanding. Yet, how many of us can really make it? I couldn’t make it at all as I still controlled by someone and something. I was glad that at the end of the movie, the main character which is so fragile managed to kill the big dragon and trained all other dragons. Human and dragon finally can live together happily. This is a good ending. Isn’t it?


achievement of the day.




love this picture so much..




Oong..

Why my study week so special? Because this is the first time I have my study week at home. The first ever time after I entered university. Before this, I refused to study at home because I couldn’t concentrate. This time, it is proven that I really cannot concentrate and study at all at home. What I have done is just merely eat, eat, eat and eat. Now weight gained and I am working on reducing the weight. This is one of the consequences. Another is I did not touch even a book or a note at all. This is a great achievement of mine. My cousin sister said that I am “sampat”. But I think I am steady instead of “sampat”. Haha… During this study week, I watched the movie I longed for a long long time with someone I hope to watch with. However, a dream has been broken after this movie. A fragile heart broke as well. Ok..back to the topic, which movie I wanted to watch so long? It is “ Ice Kacang Puppy Love”. Supporting this movie is not merely because it is made in Malaysia, but watching it with a people you admire so long is definitely sweet. Nonetheless, I did not have the sweet feeling after all. I changed to become a heart broken day the next day.

Ice Kacang Puppy Love which is not sweet at all though I imagined it will be very sweet.

This is the third time you have been fooling around and give me all those nonsense reasons after that. Have you ever thought of my feeling before you do all these? Do you know that you are the one that I trusted so much where every word you uttered, I will believe it is correct and sincere? I was happy for the first two hours where you ask me the question. But after you back from dinner, same thing happen again, and same reason again. I don’t know why I am so stupid to trust you for so many years. I have been waiting for years, but what it gives me, a don’t know how’s future answer. I will remember what you told me and I will change myself. Not because of you, but because of myself.

Well, tomorrow will be my exam. Best of luck for myself and hope you will get well soon.

The end of March

It's going to end, March. It just reached around the corner and now it wants to go away from me. It's like a flash of light. Just a moment, and it is gone. WHat have i done in this month? I can't really remember....

Accompanying mother is the most frequent thing i have in this month, i guess...I went to UMMC for several times, guess this was the first time i went there so often. I could even recognize every places in UMMC now. How brilliant I am...But, i am not proud of such an achievent...

I want to stop something yet i didn't make it clear enough. Now in dilemma. I can't blame anyone..i can only blame myself. I should have talked to him and tell him clearly everything should be an end. But i did not. Now how to stop everything? i don't know...

This month was a busy month for me as all activities were altogether in this month. I have tried not to be so tired, yet i cant. Assignment due dates, presentations, test and many things. I have to handle them. I chose to run away from everything and start to watch dramma again. What have i done? What is in my mind? i don't know. i just don't want to face them. I hate to face all these. Yet, i have to face it one day, i know...

My best friend's father passed away last month and this month, her mom passed away. i smell the gas of uncertainties in life. She is tough and even tougher than what i imagined. I am proud of her, yet, i do hope that she can share her worries and sadness with me. I hope she can cry in front of me. I hope that i was with her during the funeral. But i didn't manage to be there. I am so sorry, my dear friend. I know you will say," Nvm, im ok wo". that's what you told me. you will say,"i am very good wo". I am still worrying. You have lost both financial supports and your lovely parents in such a short time. It's really hard to accept it. However, you are too strong and tough. I am proud of you. But, i have to tell you, my shoulders are available for you whenever you need it. I will be thre.

I just went to visit my dad's cemetery last saturday. It's cheng meng season again. It's the only time i visit my dad. I miss him so much. On the way to the cemetery, the song i composed played in my mind. I was asking whether he had listened to it or not. I wished he could listened my song as it was written especially for him. Tears rolled down once the song played again. I miss you, dad. When can we meet again? when do you want to come to my dream again? I really miss you a lot. I miss your hugs, your kiss, your voice, your everything.I love you, dad.

I am back in UM now...A lot of things for me to catch up. Assignments, projects and activities reports. I have to put more efforts on everything. I have to...

Healthcare...

These two months, i realized that having a healthy body is very important in life. There is nothing more important than health. I was in UMMC with my mom when she was doing her medical check up last week. I saw many people struggling and were so ill from sickness, heart was cold when I viewed this scene. Suddenly, a big hammer was hamming onto my head and telling me it's time for me to wake up and being alert on what i have done before this. I was not taking good care of my health.I like to eat fast food, like to eat instant noodle, like to sleep late, like to eat junk food and so on. These are not healthy lifestyle. When I see those people suffer from illness, i started to worry about myself. will i be the one who is suffering in Hosp soon?Yes, if i don't take care of my health, i will definitely be the next to sleep on the sick bed. I hope i can change my lifestyle soon.

Well, during these two months, many thing had happened. I met a boddhisatva, whom i respect most and feel glad that i know him. He is one of the senior in PBUM. He is such a great person who help me a lot. Thank Buddha that he is here on time. haha..Thanks a lot.

我回来了！

好久没有在这里写下我的心情故事了。这几个月里，不是忙，就是盲。茫茫然然的，过了两个月。
不知不觉，七个星期了。半个学期就这样过去了。回头看看自己做了什么呢？好像毫无成就，挥霍了七个星期。
承担了佛学会的执委，让我生活更充实也更加的忙。这一个学期，是我最多assignment的一个学期，家里又出了一些状况，有时真的又要打退堂鼓的念头。自己一个人静静的坐在一个角落时，会想想，我到底是不是选择错误呢？现在承担，好像不是一个好时机。 每次缺席会议时，心里都有万分的对不起，可是，还有更加需要我的事去处理。我该如何选择呢？我并不是超人，不能万事兼顾。应该说，我原本已为我自己是超人，可以事事兼顾。但是，原来我是不能的。我不是超人。还好，当我累时，心力不够时，有着一班法侣，在身旁为我加油打气，总是让我有一股力量，继续前进。感恩你们。
看看这短短的七个星期里，许多计划都泡汤了。计划好的一切，都因为因缘不俱足，无法完成。原定这个学期少一点回家，多一点参与学会活动，但是，事与愿违，家里出状况，身为大女儿，我必须回去，我才能安心。虽然妈妈都说不必回来，但，我一个人在吉隆坡，我更加的担心，还是回来看看，心才安。
伤害了一个人的心，心里是不好受的。被伤害的，应该更是难受吧。不是我不要和你一同并肩作战到底，只是情况不允许，希望你明白。没想到，我们之间的事，会影响到你的家人。在此向你的家人说声抱歉。对不起！
第一次收到情人节礼物，却是一份遗憾的礼物。
普体之夜刚刚过去，我终于听到我自己写的歌了。感觉很棒！泪如泉下，大家不断的拍我的肩膀，不好意思。每次听到“爸，您听见了吗？”眼泪都回不听使唤的流下来。尤其是以下这一段：
“你是我最疼得孩子，您这样对我说。您是我最爱的爸爸，我从没对您说”
眼泪更是霹雳扒拉的流个不停。这是我最遗憾的事。无法向爸爸说我爱你，是我一生中最最最遗憾的一件事。这次回家，终于鼓起勇气，向妈妈说了我爱她，也感恩他的养育之恩。我不想再有遗憾了。
接下来的七个星期，又是充满挑战的七个星期。我能面对他们吗？加油！

矛盾

你什么都没有，
但是我却选择了你
现在才来后悔，
好像太迟的决定
可是我从来没有后悔
因为选择你是我的决定

答应我，
为了我，
努力向上
精进向善
好吗？

如果你能为了我
我会很感动
你肯定会为了我
不是吗？
你确定你的选择
对了吗？

到底我应该怎样？
我不想再懦弱。。。
我可以不再懦弱吗？

~R@nDom~

I have been in Teluk Intan for almost two weeks. I am going to UM Youth Camp in the coming Monday. I have not done my homework for the camp. Kind of worry. Going to eat more than 100 pages of thingy. Buddha bless me. haha..
Well, went to watch 2012 with Wei Fong last Monday. It was such a great movie. After i watched the movie, I started to feel scare of the day. 2012, will it come and will it becomes reality?What will happen to me if the day come? Will I have a chance to do everything that i wish to do? Will I regret after all?I will not know. But that day, i went to DYC opening ceremony, Rev. Sampano had gave a very good speech on that day. I can get the point of live our life to the fullest as long as we still can breath. It's true. Many people will plan for their future but never appreciate the present. We will not know what will happen in the future, not even the next second. It is always better for us to live life to the fullest and appreciate the present.
This Tuesday, had a gathering with my former form 6 classmates. We had a steamboat gathering at Poh Loong. It's such a great gathering. It has been a thousands of years i have not seen Peck Geok and Sheue Chia. Finally, i met them during the gathering. We had such a big dinner that day.I ate a lot. My diet plan failed as well. Haha...But it is ok. As long as we all happy. Had my belated birthday present from Peck Geok, Sin Yee and Lay Ying. TSCL is back. I miss those time we were together. Still remember Peck Geok always made me laugh when we walked to canteen from our classroom. She had a lot of funny movement which made me laugh from my heart. Still remember that we love to chop body glove on each other. The time we play together is the most memorable one for me. After we went to University, there is no such happiness for me anymore.
This few weeks, was feeling so sweet and protected. Love staying in your heart^^

update..

Yen is Sleeping+sms-ing+avoiding from the camera+reading. 4 in 1.

ZW, Timm and Me.


Yen, Marilynn and Faiz

Xiao Yao and me

Hey!you!

Monkey pose

Plastisin with little xiao yao

Plastisin that we after we came back from Sunway Pyramid No. 1

We are cousins ..Yeah!!!Grandma and Xiao Yao
Well…Well, it has been a long time I have not update my news here. I was having a very busy week before my study week where I had settled almost everything before I started my study week. However, there were still 2 assignments left behind for me to complete during my study week. I went back to my hometown on 22 October 2009 and came back to university on 25 October 2009. I wished I could stay at home for a longer period, but I can’t as I have to come back here to finish my assignments which due on 27 October 2009 and 30 October 2009 respectively. Anyway, some may ask me, why I can’t do my assignment while I am at home. I have to say that, once I reach home, I will become a big lazy worm and sleeping beauty. Haha~ I slept from night to the morning and continue sleeping again. Almost 24 hours I will use to sleep. That is when I recharge my energy. Thus, I can’t really spend my study week at home, or else, it will end up with nothing.
Once I reached my college, I started to do my first assignment, which is for poetry. This time, I had a different poem from what I have done before. No more sex, no more love, no more death. Now, it changed to the theme of learning. Ahem~ it sounds nice to have a theme out of all those love, sex and death. Yet, it is kind of hard to analyze that poem. It took me almost one day to finish it. I managed to finish it the day before date of submission. I am really glad of myself. (I am giving myself a big clap) haha… Then, after I submitted the assignment, Oong and I had our lunch at Rumah Universiti. The foods there taste good. After I had bought my food, then only I realized that my cousin sister had send me a message that she is coming to have lunch with me. OMG. ok..Never mind. I had not taken my breakfast. So, what I ate in Rumah University is my breakfast and will continue for my lunch with my cousin sister. Hmm..Sounds like I am trying to bluff myself so that I can eat more. Yaya..I am..I had a nice lunch with my cousin sister and Joo Huat that day. I feel good.
I have just finished one of my assignments that left over, I have another assignment to rush on and the submission date is 30th October 2009. However, I plan to finish my assignment on 28th October 2009 so that I can go to Mid Valley and watch Meatball with Zhong Weng. Anyway, when I opened my e-mail and checked for the mail from my group members, I got a big headache and fire was burning in me. What the hell they were doing? They don’t really understand what I said or they can’t even understand my Malay? I asked them to go back and change the point form data into essay, that’s all. Everything is prepared, they just have to combine them and write an essay. But what they did was they copy and pasted the whole page for me. That’s all. OMG!!! If I want that thing, I can do it myself. Furthermore, I am not the leader of this assignment. The leader had not done anything at all. GOSH! I was yelling and screaming in my room and scolded everything they have done. I have to do it myself. Anyway, lucky Yayan, Fyza and Azma had finished some of the part. So, I rushed until 5a.m. and slept for 4 hours and woke up to continue. Finally, I finished it on 11.12a.m. 28 October 2009. Phew… Finally, I can go and watch Meatball happily. So, I went to watch Meatball with ZHong Weng in the afternoon and had a super valuable lunch in Ipoh Chicken Rice in The Gardens. We met Chia Sing, Amy Stephanie and Dayang in Mid Valley. We were wondering, why TESL-ians’ study week does not seem like a study week but movie week or shopping week. Yea, it’s true that TESL-ian is really enjoying themselves during study week. May be not all, but at least, most of us are. ( I am going to be beaten by other courses students. Sorry! Hehe)
After finished all assignments and movie, my study week finally started on 29 October 2009 where I started to do revision on my first paper- Reading in ESL classroom. I don’t have much knowledge on this course as I did not pay attention during class but “fishing” at the back. It was too boring and dull where I had tried my very best to stay awake yet I could not. Finally, 4 November 2009 reached where I had my first paper. It was kind of easy for me. I should have not read all the notes but search the information through the internet. That’s enough. Anyway, I did learn something from there as well. Once my first paper finished, Faiz, Timm, Marilynn, Zhong Weng, Shin Yen and I went to Mid Valley. They went for a movie, I went to get my present for my little cousin sister and my buddy. We had our dinner at Sushi King. It was just like our last paper, not our first paper after all. Haha…
Then, I came to my uncle’s house from Thursday night until today(Sunday). I had an enjoyable weekend here. Why I am here? I should have studied in room. Well, I brought along my notes to my uncle’s house. I managed to finish everything for Otto’s examination and also half of the notes of KBKK. So, it’s kind of success. I like the feeling of being with my grandmother, my uncle’s family, and my little cousin sister. She is such a cute girl. She speaks English much more fluent than me. I feel kind of shame when I speak to her. She is only 3 years old this year. Her English is just like the native speakers’ English. But her Chinese is just like an English girl speaking Chinese. Haha…I love her so much and she loves me too. (She just played with me while she doesn’t play with my sister and my brother. Once she came back to KL, she always looking for me. Whoever phone to her house, she will say “biao jie, come and play with me.” see, how she missed me. haha)
Finally, I am back to College again. Miss the life in my uncle’s house so much. How good it is if I can stay there longer? I will have my second paper, Poetry I tomorrow and third paper KBKK on Wednesday. Wish that I can make it and score in both papers. I can do it. Right? will update my post again during coming weekend and elaborate more on what had happen. Stay tune!