Sunday, March 28, 2010

The end of March

It's going to end, March. It just reached around the corner and now it wants to go away from me. It's like a flash of light. Just a moment, and it is gone. WHat have i done in this month? I can't really remember....

Accompanying mother is the most frequent thing i have in this month, i guess...I went to UMMC for several times, guess this was the first time i went there so often. I could even recognize every places in UMMC now. How brilliant I am...But, i am not proud of such an achievent...

I want to stop something yet i didn't make it clear enough. Now in dilemma. I can't blame anyone..i can only blame myself. I should have talked to him and tell him clearly everything should be an end. But i did not. Now how to stop everything? i don't know...

This month was a busy month for me as all activities were altogether in this month. I have tried not to be so tired, yet i cant. Assignment due dates, presentations, test and many things. I have to handle them. I chose to run away from everything and start to watch dramma again. What have i done? What is in my mind? i don't know. i just don't want to face them. I hate to face all these. Yet, i have to face it one day, i know...

My best friend's father passed away last month and this month, her mom passed away. i smell the gas of uncertainties in life. She is tough and even tougher than what i imagined. I am proud of her, yet, i do hope that she can share her worries and sadness with me. I hope she can cry in front of me. I hope that i was with her during the funeral. But i didn't manage to be there. I am so sorry, my dear friend. I know you will say," Nvm, im ok wo". that's what you told me. you will say,"i am very good wo". I am still worrying. You have lost both financial supports and your lovely parents in such a short time. It's really hard to accept it. However, you are too strong and tough. I am proud of you. But, i have to tell you, my shoulders are available for you whenever you need it. I will be thre.

I just went to visit my dad's cemetery last saturday. It's cheng meng season again. It's the only time i visit my dad. I miss him so much. On the way to the cemetery, the song i composed played in my mind. I was asking whether he had listened to it or not. I wished he could listened my song as it was written especially for him. Tears rolled down once the song played again. I miss you, dad. When can we meet again? when do you want to come to my dream again? I really miss you a lot. I miss your hugs, your kiss, your voice, your everything.I love you, dad.

I am back in UM now...A lot of things for me to catch up. Assignments, projects and activities reports. I have to put more efforts on everything. I have to...

1 comment:

Colis said...

jia you wor... 1 more weeks, then everything will be better..

Who is K@i ChuR....I am who I am...

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